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The forever cry.

"Is this all you want?" I finally managed to speak it out. I have never wanted a relationship just to get in bed or someone who only helps to undress me, which is what is exactly happening between us. "Is this all you want between us?" I asked again.
But he didn't answer. Yet I knew he understood what I mean. He has been coming over to my place only when he biologically needed me. It was like once a week or once in two weeks. I was but his bedmate.
Ignoring his ignorance, I ran down my fingers in his naked back which was facing me. It was still wet with the sweats, and I could feel his unsettled heavy breath.
See. I am totally a loser here. Just a moment ago, I felt he is using me just to get inside my pants. I wanted to make it clear that he can't keep going with that pace if he has no love. But the moment I touched his body, I forgot all the hurtful moments.
"Alright, I forgive him," I said in my mind. "He may love me back." I kissed …
Recent posts

Rising up from the scratch

"Yes, I finally agreed to sleep with him." I knew, very well, of the consequences of that decision. I knew it was disgusting, and that nothing can ever recover that damage. Yet, he assured me so well that everything would be right. I could see in his eyes, the starvation and the pledge. It was so genuine that I almost felt he could be true. "Do not worry," He cupped my face in his palm. "I will always protect you." He reassured me again. I didn't react. I knew all of these, the affections for me in his eyes, words and actions at that moment are all lies. I knew all of these will fade away the moment he releases his satisfaction. "I will," he speaks again. This time his voice was thick and husky. "I will consider all the debts." "Enough of the lies." I wanted to scream, scream right in his ears and run away. "But, how could I?" Tears welled up my throats before rolling down from my helpless eyes. "Do not cr…

When Love leads:

"I am never calling him again," I say this everytime my call goes unanswered. But comes the next day, I still can't resist. So I call him again to go my call unanswered again. "It's okay, he must be engaged somewhere," I tell to myself. "He is going to call me soon." But this 'soon' never happens. And finally, I choose to message him which goes unreplied. "It's okay,” I say again, beating my chest with the fist to stop the tears flowing out. “He will reply me when he sees this." ●●●
It's been a couple of months now. Our relationship took a great transformation. It was as if, it has leaped from A-Z without considering the other 24 alphabets in between. "Is he rejecting me already? My subconscious often asks in an unexpected manner. "No, no. This can't be happening." I remind back. You know, every time I get the feeling that he is ignoring me, I perfectly wipe it off. I can't accept the idea of him lea…

Drown in you

Like a jasmine at the touch of the dusk, 
Or like the mixture of mint and the vodka,
How addictive is that?
The smell of your lips? You know, I am melting,
Ofcorse, no, not my physical form,
But this, the aching heart,
Which only beats in your name,
At the sight of you,
Leaning down on me? It is intoxicating, it burns me,
At the heat you make me feel
Warm and comfy, and yet wet,
How do I not get drowned,
In all those pleasures,
Of wanting you even more? Baby, you are sweet,
Like a honey and vanilla,
Your sweats, when I feel it,
Are the another shapes of love,
You have on me,
And I surrender you, my entire being,
Just to get a taste of you. -karma☆.

The things that I am not privileged just because I am a girl;

"Women in Bhutan doesn't experience any overt gender discrimination" is what is in many documents and publications. But to what extent is this pleasant highlight valid is the question I've been trying to answer since I experienced the gender discrimination myself which I didn't even know it exists. 

I was recently in my village to attend the funeral of my late grandfather. And it was during these time of turmoil that I fought some of the pre-dominated things that the villagers believe a girl can't do. 

Well, to the knowledge of everyone, the rituals and any spiritual ceremonies in Bhutan is usually conducted by monks though there is rising numbers of nun and nunneries. 

In the villages, there are equally good number of farmers, mostly men, who carries out the necessary religious activities. They are commonly called 'Gomchen.' 

In my village as well, there are interesting number of Gomchen. All men. And may be because all Gomchen are men, some villagers ha…

Happy for him

I've never been happier this way, I mean not this way, the way I felt happy at the news of him fathering a child... Sherab Tenzin, the founder of druktrails.com has been my inspiration and saviour in my blogging journey for the last more than a year. While I respectfully call him 'ata', he affectionately call me 'ausa'. We are more like a real brother and a sister who are bonded over our shared passion in 'blogging'. This may be a cliche but this is my submission that ata Sherab has always been a reliable person to whom I share every little problem I face in blogging. No one knows better than him of how limited knowledge I had on blogging when I first opted to start a self-hosted blog at ogenstar.com. With his immense kindness and guidance, I am proud to reveal that my blog is at a presentable shape now. To literally reiterate, ata Sherab is equally approachable and down to earth. He is too humble to the extent that he even share me the amount in his adsense…

Loving the shape of him!!!

When I first listened the Ed Sheeren's 'shape of you' earlier this year, I found it quite odd.
"How is falling in love even possible just beacuse of their shape of the body?"
But you know, I liked that song so much so that I even mugged up the whole lyrics which is very unlikely of me. One time,  my phone had only one song and that was the 'shape of you.'
I listened to it from home to office, office to home, in the kitchen, in the shower and almost everywhere. I also had it set as the alarm ring tone.
However, I couldn't relate myself to the song and to the idea of falling in love just because of the shape of somebody.
"What good a good shape does in love?" I often questioned my inner self when I felt insane. "I can fall in love even with a crooked-shaped guy if he is nice."
Well, I've always been a kinda girl who presumed that love is all about a good heart. "For me, all that makes my knee go weak is when I see someone wh…