Am I becoming unproductive, already?

I’ve never felt good to stay ideally, like never. I don’t use to have that habit of sitting and doing nothing productive. Even at home, though there is no one that I need to feed and take care of, I am always so busy and equally loaded with works.

Sometimes, some of my friends say, ‘why do you hurry so much to get home as if you have the kids to breastfeed?’ The only thing they don’t know about me is that I would always have a series of things that need to be done.

These days, because we are following the winter timing, I get home at around 4:30 pm. ASAP, I get home, I change and freshen up (obvious thing), get a good cup of coffee and clean the rooms. Doing all these would take me about one hour. Then, I would watch the TV show for another hour. Then pray for another half hour or so, prepare supper, read for sometime and watch the BBS news at 9:00 pm. I would then watch movies for two hours, be online for some thirty minutes. And by the time, I think I want to sleep, it already would be 11:00 pm, which is quite a good time that my body needs to put in rest.

My alarm in the morning is at 7:45 am. I would wake up at 8:00 am. The 15 minutes till I opened my eyes and pull off the blankets are very precious. It is at that time that I decide what I should be doing in office. I think of what will be the first thing I will do in the morning, what needs to be done in the afternoon, and yes, exactly at 8:30 am, I am out from my room. Otherwise, I will miss the staff bus. (I am always quite impressed with myself about how I get ready in the morning in just 30 minutes. I get up, wash, dress, put some makeups, prepare a cup of tea or hot water and everything ready for the day!)

Doing all of these systematically in one day, I used to feel that I am not wasting my time and that my days are going productively. But these days, you know, I am getting out of the schedule. Maybe because of the cold, my body is demanding a warm nap asap I get home. I would say, ‘ok, I can have a very quick nap, maybe about thirty minutes.’ But sometimes, this thirty minutes would extend for several hours. And by the time, I want to put myself to sleep at 11:00 pm, all my cells would be proactive.

My body would refuse to sleep then. Luckily, there is that online game that I am addicted to these days. I would then be engaged in the game, and by the time I think I am enough, it would be almost 1:00 sometimes.

The morning cycle though continues in the same way, but I feel bit drowsy and inactive to the office works. So, I am afraid if I am becoming unproductive already? I am no longer that one systematic girl.