“It’s okay.” She forced to sound cheerful, as if nothing is heard. “A happy life ahead.” She said back diplomatically when her heart was actually breaking into thousands of pieces, inside.
She pressed off the receiver. And took the deepest sigh to gulp back the tears that came welling up from her throat, making difficult even to breath.
“No. I shouldn’t be crying.” She raise her head facing the ceiling above, not to let the tears roll down from that big eyes crossing her round chubby face. “I will just go and take a walk outside.” She said to herself, still trying to stay strong.
Outside, it was cold with little drizzling. Sky was gray and the air thick. The weather wasn't really favorable for a walk. However, she didn’t mind the weather. All she wanted was to forget what she have just heard from him; from the man she loved like never before.
She plugged in the earphone, played on the song that came the first. It was "We the kings" by Elena Coats. It sang "Without you, I am broke like half of a whole. And without you, i feel torn like a sail in a storm and without you, i am just a sad song." She didn’t care about the volume because all she wanted was something to stop her heart breaking into lot tinier pieces.
The music blared high. She wanted to sing along to keep her mind engaged in the lyrics. But how unfortunate of her? All she could hear was his voice saying “I need a break up with you.” It was like it has got permanent place in her ears. It kept repeating and echoing, over and over again.
“No!” She yelled back at the sound in her ears, throwing her legs hard on the ground beneath. The pebbles from potholes hurts her sole and started bleeding but she didn't mind. She kept screaming, calling out his name. And it is his name, “Tobgay”, that made her effort to control the cry go in vain when the rolls of tears came running down, passing through her icy cheeks.
By then, the sky has already turned darker and the air has got thicker. The drizzle started getting heavier. Her hair was all soaked and teeth were tethering out of cold but she didn't realize any of these. She was just totally and dangerously drowned in the agony of losing her lover. Her her skin was just senseless to sense anything.She banged her head hard onto the road tuft with the hope of erasing his thoughts. And simultaneously made the wishes to get her body be evaporated or else melted, leaving no single trace. But nothing worked.
Her, what should be called a soulless body kept moving ahead, but never with the idea of where it is heading. She just kept walking further and further, never looking back. Unconsciously, she was taking the whole share of the road for herself when suddenly she felt the heaviest thrust and everything went blank at instant.
****
At the bus terminal, Tobgay boarded off with the broad smile. “She definitely would be glad to see me home today.” He said in his mind. “But I won’t break her birthday surprise until midnight.”
He carefully lifted up the gift box containing her favorite silk gown and a crystal-looking pearled-chain. He was satisfied with the choice of his gifts this time. “She would love it.” He talked blindly, feeling the golden wrapper with the heart-shapes printed. Of all those, he was more excited with the thought of a ring inside the inner pocket of his jacket. “Tonight, along her birthday, I am going to delight her with the marriage proposal.” He made another satisfying face.
With all those smiles in his heart, he signaled one of the cabbie and gave him the address of her place. Throughout the ride, Tobgay was mentally preparing and rehashing the dialogue to be used during the proposal time. At one point, he felt like a movie star, going to see her lady love. He gulped in another share of smile. He looked cute with those not very big eyes but a well built features. His hair was combed to the latest fashion. He appeared more like a cherub, like no one could compare with his appearance. He looked a perfect gentle man.
Soon, he reached her door place, to see the door been wide opened. “Wangmo.” He called out but with no reply. “Wangmo…. Wangmo.” He called out loud but still didn’t get the answer.
“Maybe, she must have gone out in the garden, to water the flowers.” He comforted himself and walked the way to the garden, trying to figure out her presence. But it was a dead-silent there.
He hurriedly walked back inside the house, gave a rapid entering signals. He marched through the sitting room and then to her bedroom. But still there wasn’t any sign of her. He checked in the bathroom, kitchen and even the store room, to find no trace.
By then, his heart started beating bit faster, bit louder than the normal beatings. He tried connecting through the phone but it said “switched off.”
Assuring his panicking heart to act calm, he took the glass of iced water and sank down in the coach, lazily. “Probably, she must have gone to the neighbor. And would come back any minute, soon.”
Time went by… five minutes, ten minutes and then to twenty minutes. There showed no sign of Wangmo’s arrival from any direction. The heaps of fears then started growing, slowly at first and then immensely from the root of his bones. He felt the Adrenalin production for the first time when his body got heated up, naturally, in the room temperature.
Finally, he opted to inquire the neighbor at next door. By then, he was almost an hour late to catch her in the ICU.
*******
“No, you must have mistaken.” He yelled out loud to the receiver at the next line of the phone call. Frustrations spread in the air, around him. “My Wangmo was fine, just this morning. She never can meet the accident.” He voice was filled up with the heaven's hatred. He wanted to smash everything down to the hell to prove it wrong. But all he could hear was the weesh and woosh sound of the hospital from behind that made his unwilling heart half-convinced.
*****
Like in a dreadful nightmare, he rushed to the hospital, never caring of what lies before or after. In that half an hour ride until reaching the hospital, he felt like all the bloods in his body is drenching out. He felt cold and hot and lost, all at the same time.
“I am in a worst dream. I am just dreaming.” He said to himself. “Soon, my alarm will ring and everything will be okay. My Wangmo would be waiting for me to turn up on her birthday.” He added, assuring his heart to beat the normal rate. But nothing was as wished.
Everything was real. Tobgay is going to the hospital, to see the love of his life who met the accident after a silly prank that actually would have sounded stupid if nothing has happened.
******
From the reception counter, Tobgay followed the serious-looking nurse, crossing many similar-looking doors till she opened one of the door and pointed inside.
At first sight, Tobgay almost fainted off to see his beautiful Wangmo covered with the bandages all over her face and number of tubes and wires connected from the different parts of her body.
“Wangmo… Wanmgo.” He crawled from the end of the bed till he caught her cold hand. “See Wangmo, I am here. I am by your side. Could you please open your eyes and look at me?” He pleaded with his heart out. But she didn’t showed any move of interest instead slide off her head, avoiding his direct glance. She looked fragile, pale and weak at that move.
“See Wangmo, I am really sorry. I lied to you earlier this morning about my affair with another girl because I wanted to surprise you by making an adhoc visit to you, when you aren’t expecting. I didn’t know that my prank would turn this worst.” He said very sincerely. “You know, you are turning 23 this midnight. I want to see you, hold you and always wanted to surprise you the first for the next thousand years. Please say you be alright, please.” He knelled down on the flour, still holding her hand and took out the ring saying “Wangmo, please say you will marry me, for the God’s sake, please.” He pleaded with his emotions out.
And from the corner of his eyes, he saw her nodding but very weakly.
“Yes. I made it!” He jumped high on the air.
“Thank you Wangmo. Thank you so much. You are my wife now.” He bend low, helped her rise from the bed to give her a very tight hug. And in his arms, she took the last breathe of her life.”
******
Puzzled, shocked and in horror, Tobgay shook her body, calling out her name to wake up. But stiff, hard and cold, her body remained. Not knowing what should be the next step, to cry out loud or to laugh out loud, he made her head lie on his laps. And that’s when his hand came across a perfectly folded paper beneath the pillow.
*****
With his still shivering hand, he unfolded the paper. And the first letter he could read was her name at the bottom page which gave him the confidence to read. And it read...
“My dear Tobgay, you were the best thing that has ever happened to me for the last two years until this morning when you declared to give me a break-up.
Though it’s hard to believe but for your happiness, I am accepting your decision. I never knew and I wasn’t really prepared to see the end of our love. And when it came happening, I really can’t believe.
Anyway, never forget that all I ever wanted was to see you happy, all the time. I hope the new girl you are seeing will treat you the best because you deserves the best of love and life.
I am very much grateful to you for coming in my life though for a short span. I got the happiness of the world, inside my heart. You gave me the feelings of heaven on earth. But now that I am losing you, I will just write down whatever I have planned to share to you when I will see you again.
Dear Tobgay, I still remember the first time I saw you, in the library. I got the churns in my stomach to see your beautiful eyes under that dark-rimmed glass. You were reading “Nothing lasts forever” by Sidney. And that’s the time I also started loving his books.
That night, back in my room, your image kept playing round my sensations; the way you were holding the book and frequently giggling and making the faces, not caring of the world next to you. And that’s when I knew I am falling on you.
However, I concealed my feelings down because I found myself not suitable to you in anyways. But it really was painful to keep watching you in silence. I thought I would die from that pain until that day when you came talking to me. I felt I was air-lifted at that moment.
And the next and the happiest moment in my life was when you confessed your love on me under the clear blue sky, at the other side of our school garden. I really felt like pulling you closer inside my arms and narrate you all the feelings that I was carrying so far. But I just couldn’t do it because your stare that time was immensely adorable. And I felt I would melt down if I stay longer, close to you.
Honestly, you gave me the best feelings, best moments and the best memories in my life. You holds the irreplaceable position in my heart. So, I can’t fall in love with other guy beside you. I just and purely belongs to you and you only.
But it seems I am not good enough for you. I feel waste to live in your absence. Please accept my apologies for not making up to your satisfactions this life. But I promise to complete my story with you, next life. Please do not leave me that time.
Be happy always… Do not mess up after reading this note, do not cry over my graveyard, do not put end to your life. I will be watching you from the above.”
---------With love, Wangmo.
******
Tobgay cried out loud. He felt the sky gradually turning color less without her. And that’s when the whole of his body, mind and speech started abandoning this world affairs.
In the name of his loving Wangmo, Tobay has become one of the greatest spiritual figure of this generation.
Note----Its a fiction.... Mistakes are under your kind considerations please.
Thank you.
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